To the owner of these pants...I salute you

Prada high-waist slacks @ Saks Fifth Avenue

The lovely, pristine, crisp pants portrayed above are undeniably gorgeous and well-made. They also just happen to cost approximately half of my bi-weekly salary. AND, might I add, they're white. I have to admit, I have a strange fascination and admiration for the wearers of white pants. They seem to exist in a separate realm from the rest of us slobs, because on the rare occasion that I encounter a woman bold enough to risk this look, she always looks as lovely, pristine and crisp as the aforementioned slacks. Nary a grass-stain, cat-hair, or coffee splotch to be seen. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??? Yes, I have on occasion ventured forth in a sweater or a blouse in a snowy white hue. Generally, these articles of clothing are marked for death the moment they leave the store and are hung in my closet...and inevitably, an unspeakable disaster involving either a cup of chocolate pudding, a slushy splash from an oncoming car, or a badly-balanced glass of red wine occurs shortly thereafter. And so, I cherish these clothes, and let them lead a short but fulfilling life in my wardrobe. Yet NEVER would I spend half of my bi-weekly salary on them, and even if they were slightly more cost-efficient, NEVER would I buy white pants. There would just be too much of an impending possibility of disaster hovering around me if I dared leave the house sporting snowy-hued slacks.

And so, to the ladies who dare to wear these ticking fashion time-bombs, and who pull it off as effortlessly as their five-inch heels and their perfect, un-chippable manicures, I salute you. And I wonder how in the hell you pull it off. Could you please, please, please lend me some of your fashion mojo?