Great Expectations

I am expecting. Expecting what, you ask? Well, if you take a look at the prevailing styles in most maternity stores these days, I'm expecting to look like a giant doily or a beached whale in a floral mumu for the next few months.

It's not that I expect to be able to pull off the more svelte and streamlined looks of my pre-pregnancy wardrobe. But it is too much to ask that I be allowed to purchase a blouse that doesn't have one of the following components?

a) a pink or other pastel floral pattern
b) ruffles at hem, collar, sleeves, or in some other hidden spot
c) a cute little ribbon tie in back (the knotted bow can be murder on the back during long flights or while sitting at your desk for hours)
d) pouffy sleeves?

I get it - we're cute mommas-to-be. We're in the flower of our womanhood, positively glowing with feminine charm. But for goodness' sakes, I don't want to look like a dress-up doll while I'm glowing. I want to look like what I am - a professional woman with a simple style - albeit with a fetching belly overhang and swollen ankles. And let's face it, with women chosing to advance their careers prior to starting their families at a greater pace these days, alot of women are in the same boat as me. Further, I don't think I've ever met an expectant mother-to-be who lusts after the cotton-candy-hued, ruffly, flowery numbers that dominate maternity stores these days, even if she isn't a consummate career woman.

I beg of you, maternity wear purveyors, should you happen to stumble on this site and choose to listen to one of your humble customers - focus on simple, classic pieces that are versatile, tailored and comfortable. Sure, I like an occasional flowy flowery camisole with a cute empire waist and a little ribbon tie. But generally I like to pair the flouncy with my wardrobe staples, like a well-cut cardigan in a neutral colour, a pair of dark, boot-cut mat jeans and a simple kitten heel.

For summer, I'd love some simple, 3/4 length sleeve blouses that skim nicely over my bump. Please, I beg of you - no eyelets, no bows, no flounces, no ruffles. No pouffy sleeves. I'd love a simple, A-line skirt in a neutral colour that I can pair with a cami and cardigan or a blazer. The same rules apply. I would kill for some comfy, simple tank dresses or basic wrap dresses for work.

Yet every time I hit the local mall in search of any of these pieces, it seems like the moment I enter the maternity store, I'm inundated with a rainbow of hot pink, pastel yellow and minty green, a virtual garden of floral patterns, and a positive avalanche of ruffles and bows.

Women do change while they're expecting a baby. If anything, they become more beautiful. Yet, why should the styles that fit their personalities and their lives change, beyond an allowance for their baby bumps? We may get "baby brain" while we're pregnant, but it doesn't make me want to throw on a pink shirt with ruffled cap sleeves and a big bow in front and a pair of matching capris. I'm still me (even if I've got another little "me" in my belly right now), and I wish maternity stores would cater to me and to all other expectant moms instead of trying to force us to conform to some weird flowery, ruffly stereotype.